Forgotten Memories
by Lucifers.Angel.93
Summary: "I left Tomoeda over four years ago because of the things I have done. But during that time, I've been through things that no one ever should. And I came back because of you. How much have things changed?" I asked. "Take a look around. Everything is slowly getting back to normal," he answered. But, the frown on his face didn't convince me. Then he asked, "what happened to you?"
1. Chapter 1

** Okay, so this is my first CCS fanfic, so please be gentle. I do not own CCS, or any characters except for OCs. Every so-often there will be flashbacks on what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. I am open to suggestions, but no flames.**

I dropped my suitcase onto the sidewalk as I exited the taxi. Pulling my red scarf tighter, I glanced up at the small two bedroom house in front of me. The white paint, it was still as bright as I remembered it. You see, the last time I was in this house was over four years ago. Unfortunately, I didn't leave on good terms with anyone. But, in the past few years since my departure, I had learned things that I never thought I could. While I was away, I learned how to grow up, something I needed to do in order to return. I learned how to defend myself against multiple things, muggers, thieves, rapists, and the like. The only thing I gave into, was temptation.

That's why I ran. I left my home, my friends, my family, and for what? Because I was scared? Afraid? I don't even know anymore! I was so caught up in what I wanted, I couldn't even _think_ of my family or how they would feel. My brother, from what I heard, had gone off the deep end and landed himself in a mental institution. Why? I honestly couldn't tell you.

Between me leaving, my mother passing away, and my brother ending up in an institution, my father had developed a mild form of depression, and turned to liquor. Currently, he was in therapy and going to those Alcoholics Anonymous things. At least, the last time I heard anything, anyway. Meiling was still herself, and still didn't take crap from anyone. Turns out she's super smart, and she graduated from high school a full year before Tomoyo did.

My best friend, Tomoyo, was the only one I kept in contact with. Why? Because I was afraid of what anyone else would say to me. Tomoyo never agreed with the decisions I made, but she didn't force me to change my mind. She tried to once, sure, but when she actually realized how much I was hurting, she let it go.

I handed the money to the taxi driver, and carefully closed the car door. Was I really ready to face it? To face him? After all these years, would that really be okay? Before I could change my mind, I sucked in a deep breath, and lifted the handle of my small suitcase. Taking the first step was hard, harder than I thought it would be, but each step got harder, and harder.

As I passed the small white gate, I glanced around the yard. A small layer of snow covered the once green lawn, and the flowerbeds near the front stairs were barely noticeable. I turned my attention back to the two-story house. Each window had dark brown curtains, and all were closed. I paused, as one of the curtains on the top floor moved. Was that…? I shook my head and continued walking toward the front door, as memories from over four years ago flooded my mind. Lost in thought, I barely realized what I was doing.

"I'm going to see him again," I whispered, as a small smile made its way onto my face.

I stopped at the front door, and put my suitcase down. Sucking in another breath, I raised a fist to the door, and knocked lightly. I tightened my brown jacket, as a chill ran down my spine. My head jerked up when I heard the door unlock. Trust me when I say I was_ not_ expecting what I saw.

A little girl around the age of three, was standing behind the door. She had her dark brown hair cut, and put up in the same fashion that I've had since I was her age. Her bright emerald eyes looked me over, as she tilted her head.

"Can I help you, miss?" she soft voice asked.

I bent over, and smiled at her. "Yes, actually. I'm looking for Syaoran Li. Is he here?" I asked as politely as I could. Inside, I was a wreck! What would he think of me now, after the last four years?

"Just a minute, please," the small girl replied. I nodded, and stood back up.

"Daddy, there's a lady here to see you! She's really pretty!"

I giggled, before I realized what she said. Daddy? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I dropped my head and sighed.

"Can I help you?" My shoulders tensed once his voice hit my ears.

"S-Syaoran?" I asked, keeping my head down. Tears began to blur my vision. "I missed you so much!" Without thinking, I hugged him, and began crying into his chest.

Gently, he pushed me away. "Do I know you?" he asked.

I sniffled, then nodded. I lifted my head so that I could see him clearly. He looked exactly the same as I remembered, minus the look of shock that came over his face. "Sakura?"

I nodded. "Miss me?" I laughed humourlessly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the little girl again.

"Daddy, why is the lady crying?"

Syaoran looked from me, to her, then back. "She's crying, because she's happy to see us."

The small girl stared at me, and asked, "why is she happy to see us though? Who is she?"

Syaoran knelt beside her. "Maya, this is Sakura Kinomoto-Li," he paused to look back at me, "your mother."

**A/N: Short, I know. But if anyone is interested, I will be posting more chapters, and they _will_ be longer than this one. If you like it, or have any suggestions, please leave a review. No flames though :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I actually like how I made this chapter. I hope you all like it :)**

Maya and I stared at each other while we sat at the dining room table, waiting for Syaoran to finish make tea.

"How old are you right now, Maya?" I asked her. I still didn't understand this. I left four years ago, but Maya looked only three! I rubbed my temples.

"I'm four and one-quarter. That's what my daddy says. How old are you?" Maya squinted her emerald eyes, as she continued to stare at me.

"I… I'm twenty-two," a whispered softly. I put my arms on the table, and despite the situation, I grinned at her.

"Do you like cartoons?" I asked her. Maya's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as she grinned. "Yes! When daddy has to work, Tomoyo is my babysitter, and we watch cartoons and have tea parties, and play pretend! It's lots of fun. But, daddy doesn't like me watching cartoons."

I frown slightly at her response. "Daddy doesn't let you watch cartoons?" I asked.

I watched the light in Maya's eyes disappear as a frown made its way across her face. "No. He says T.V. kills brain cells."

I giggled at Maya's statement. "Well then, your father must have watched a_ lot_ of T.V. when we were kids."

Maya grinned when we heard, "hey, I heard that!" coming from the kitchen.

I burst out laughing, while Maya stared at me like I was a mental patient.

I quieted down, and asked, "what's wrong, Maya? You don't look very happy anymore."

She sighed as she shrugged her shoulders. "Daddy doesn't like loud noises. That's why I colour pictures to keep quiet."

I leaned over the table and asked, "you like colouring too?"

She nodded and asked, "can I show you something?"

I nodded and stood up from my seat, helping Maya down. Maya grabbed onto my hand, and began pulling me through the familiar building. We rounded a corner, went through the living room, and up a set of stairs. When we were on the second floor, she led me to a door at the end of the hall.

"This is my room. Tomoyo and Meiling did it for me! Open it!" she said eagerly.

"Manners, Maya!" Syaoran called from down stairs.

I grumbled, and yelled, "stop pestering the poor girl! She's just excited!"

Turning my attention back to her I asked, "how many rules does he have?"

Maya shook her head. "I don't know. I can only count to ten."

_Is she saying that he has so many rules, that she can't even count them?_

I nodded to her and opened the door. The walls were a light pastel pink, the carpet was white, and the comforter on her bed was a pink rose colour.

"Is pink your favourite colour?" I questioned.

Maya shook her head. "No. I like blue, but daddy says that's a boy colour."

I walked in, and sat at the foot of her bed. "Too bad," I whispered, running my fingers over the comforter.

I looked back up and grinned at her. "So, what did you want to show me?"

Maya ran over to what I assume to be her closet, and pulled the door open. She knelt to the floor and pulled out a box that was nearly the same size as her.

"Do you need help?" I asked her.

Maya shook her head as she leaned into the large box. "Daddy says if I really want something, I have to work to get it."

_What in the hell is Syaoran teaching her? I mean, its good to be independent, but seriously? She's only four! _

"Its okay to ask me for help though. You don't need to be scared of breaking any rules if I'm with you."

Maya nodded slowly. "Okay. But I got it." She reached in, and pulled out a binder filled with paper.

I quirked an eyebrow curiously at her. "What's that?" I asked.

Maya walked back toward me, and sat beside me.

"This is all the pictures I ever drew. I keep them in my special box. I want to show you," she whispered.

I nodded as she opened the cover to the thick book. On the first page, there was a drawing of, what looked like, Maya and Tomoyo having a picnic.

"This is me and Tomoyo on my birthday when I turned three."

I grinned at her. "Wow, Maya. You drew this?" I asked, pointing at the drawing.

Maya nodded, before flipping the page. "This is daddy when he makes his thinking face."

I giggled at the drawing of Syaoran's face. She drew his hair curly, and he had an expression that looked somewhere between anger and constipation.

"He still looks like that when he thinks?"

Maya nodded, and flipped the page again. "This is Meiling, me, and Tomoyo. We made a fort out of sheets, and stayed in the living room all night." She flipped the page again. This one shocked me beyond belief. "This is you. I drew it when I was three."

I stared at her. "How did you know what I look like?"

Maya put the binder on the bed, and got down. She walked to the white nightstand near the head of her bed. She opened the top drawer, and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I asked daddy what my mommy looked like, and he gave me this picture so I would know."

She unfolded it, and showed it to me. I was sitting on a swing, being pushed by Syaoran. I remembered that day. I was sixteen when the picture was taken. Me, Syaoran, Tomoyo, and Meiling were walking through the park. I hadn't been on a swing for a while, so I ran over like a little kid. Syaoran followed me, and gently pushed me once I sat on the swing. I turned my head and smiled at him with a content smile on my face. Syaoran and I heard a snap, and glared at Meiling, who stole Tomoyo's precious camera. That was the same day Syaoran asked me out on our first date.

"You look different. Your hair was longer, and you were smaller." I jumped at the sound of Maya's voice. "I keep this in my drawer, and take it out every night. I wanted to say good-night, and I wished very hard every night that you would come back." Maya wiped her eye with her sleeve. "Why did you leave?"

It took me a moment to realize that she was crying. I crossed my legs on the bed, and pulled her onto my lap with her back facing me. I held her in a tight hug, as a few tears escaped me.

"I don't know." That was a lie. I did know why I left, but I couldn't tell her. "I'm so sorry, Maya. I'm sorry I left you. I love you so much." I rested my right cheek on the top of her head. "I promise I won't leave you again. I'm so sorry, Maya."

* * *

Out in the hallway, Syaoran pulled his ear away from the door and smiled to himself. "I can't believe you're back, Sakura. Maybe now Maya can have her mother back for good." Syaoran turned around to head back downstairs.

* * *

Maya fell asleep in my arms after crying for a while. I can't lie about this; it felt good to hold her in my arms and comfort her.

"Maybe I _am_ ready to be a mother to you," I whispered into her hair.

Carefully, I moved from my spot and placed Maya on her bed. I removed her socks and pigtails, placing them on her nightstand, before pulling the covers over her small body.

"Are you going?" I looked down and saw Maya blink her eyes at me.

I smiled and shook my head. "No, I'm just going downstairs. I'll come back up after, if you want," I whispered to her.

Maya nodded and snuggled into her soft comforter. I saw a small pink hair brush on her nightstand, and reached for it. I sat down beside Maya, and slowly brushed her hair. My own mother use to do that when I was young. It helped me sleep. I continued brushing her hair until I was certain she was asleep. I put the brush back in its place, and smiled at the little girl. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, before I got up and walked toward the door. I flicked the light-switch off, and turned to smile at her again.

"Good-night Maya."

I closed the door to her room, and walked downstairs to the dining room table. Syaoran walked in, through the kitchen, as I sat down. He set a tray that held the tea on the table before he looked at me.

"Where's Maya?" he asked.

I shrugged and smiled. "She's asleep," I whispered.

Syaoran quirked an eyebrow and smirked. "It appears that parenting comes naturally to you," he complimented. Or at least, I _think_ it was a compliment.

I shook my head and frowned. "I wish I was here to watch her grow. I'll never get those years back. I'll never get to make it up to her."

Syaoran poured tea into a cup, and passed it to me. "Trust me, she's just glad to have you here. Ever since she's been able to talk, she's been asking questions about you. 'What's mommy's favourite colour?' 'What's mommy's favourite flower?' She never stops. She wished every night that she could meet you, and apparently, all of her wishing has finally paid off."

I sipped my tea and smiled slightly. "I'm glad I made her wish come true," I said.

Syaoran smiled at me and whispered, "so am I."

I looked up to make eye contact with him, and smiled a genuine smile. "It's so nice to talk to you again. Tell me what you've been up to since I left."

**A/N: OMG am really anxious to know if you liked it... I worked really hard on it. In the next chapter, you will begin to see why this fic is rated M. Please remember to leave a review, not a flame.**


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